So you think going to your local gym with get you fit, healthy, and beautiful? Ha! Chances are it will only piss you off instead. 

If you seriously want to go to the gym to exercise you’ll have adversaries that are always in the gym. 

1) The douchebag/meathead/grunter is always trying to show everyone how hardcore they are in all things fitness. They spend most of their time grunting and talking loudly while lifting unimpressive weights. 

They don’t care about form or if they’re actually pushing themselves; they care about you noticing them by any means possible. I bet you didn’t think your trip to the gym meant becoming a substitute father for attention-starved youths, did you? 

2) The talker/socialite/cassanova is just at the gym to get in the way and talk. He’s already tired of talking to the other do-nothing gym-goers so he’ll make his target someone who is focusing on his/her workout (i.e. YOU). The worst talkers will purposely ignore your body language and subtle pleas to be left alone. Afterall, what kind of weirdo comes to the gym just to workout?

3) The shittalker/gossiper/lazy person hates those who actually make progress, and they’ll make it their daily mission to try to bring you down a peg. Of course, if they made it their daily mission to work out hard then maybe they’d make real progress, too. But good look tactfully telling them that without them getting even more unjustifiably outraged. 

The lesson here is: Always wear headphones.